Caught

I got an email this week from Erica with the kind of news that shocks a person out of his or her own reality. Several days ago a boy was playing with friends in a river. Dipping below the surface, he did not come back up. His friends continued diving in after him for two hours, only to finally discover his body wedged between rocks.

To continue the heartbreak, the kids took their friend from the river and brought him back to the internado where they stood vigil the entire night. The next day, without any sleep, most of the kids had to return to the fields to work. Erica said that she has yet to see any of the kids cry and that something like this is so common in their lives that it is "just" an event rather than something to call special attention to.

She is unable to cry in front of the kids because of their attitude toward the whole event and because she doesn't want to freak them out.

What is this? What am I doing here in this life while children are dragging their friends out of rivers and bringing their lifeless bodies back to their homes? And yet, I am ashamed at the realization that such a story merely provides a reality check for me. I question the world surrounding me and the things I take for granted. I question the people around me and the comforts I have.

My focus should not be here; it should instead be there. My focus should be on the lives of those people and to pray for God's love. To pray for God to keep those children in his care. To be humbled by the tragedy that is life without forgetting the joy. To ask why rocks can capture and crush the life of a boy playing. To marvel at the bravery and courage of his friends.

To live with the knowledge that I don't deserve to be where I am. I am at once free of rocks but just as deserving to be caught between them.