Train Day

Today is the first Train Day of the summer. For those of you who aren't hip to the scene (like me, one week ago) Train Day here at camp is the day that most of the staff folk get the whole day off. The campers/conferees take a train into Santa Cruz and hang out there all day. That means that there are no programs going on at camp. Hence, we staffers get to do whatever. I took some time to take a nice run this morning, grabbed breakfast BEFORE showering (glorious), and am now hanging out with some free wireless and a spiced cider (when you can't stand coffee, and haven't yet come around to the glory of tea, a spiced cider is the best EVER), and a different perspective. I'm halfway into this first week, and I can already look at my previous post, and past journal entries, and note that things have distinctly changed.

Let's run through some of the changes, shall we?

1) Transparency. I should put a note in here that I think some staff members at Mount Hermon may have my blog at their fingertips these days. That makes me a little squirmy. Why? Well, past posts were a bit dire at times, and I wrote them knowing that no one at camp had the address. It has brought out an interesting exercise in blogger transparency that I think all bloggers deal with at some point or another. Namely, how much of one's thoughts and inner self does one reveal on this thing? That's a relative and personal decision to be sure, but I'm a novice at this whole venture so it's smacking me for the first time.

2) Comfort level. So the most common advice I've gotten over the past week (and perhaps the best advice as well) was to remain patient. I'm good at knowing and telling myself this, as I've fallen into the same pattern just about every new place I go/live/spend time: give it two weeks. The first two weeks can be rough. Most of the time I'm settled by the end of two weeks, or at least more comfortable.

3) People. So at this point I'm not syaing that I've had something that ranks up there with 'amazing experience,' but things are in a much better position than last week. I think this one relates to the previous bit about comfort level. It also has to do with the next one...

4) The Thick of Things. Programs are up and running. Things are moving. We are scrambling to care for the people who are here. We are running ourselves ragged and we know it. In a situation like that I think a community grows closer, especially for those people who are making an effort to be aware of that closer growth.

5) The Cost of Discipleship. I owe one K.Plax a huge thanks. At the book sale back at school he found an old copy of Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship and thrust it into my hands. $2 later I owned it. I used a few pages out of it in my Bible study yesterday and have started to work my way through it in general. "Cheap grace" is something hitting me hard these days. Setting up the difference between it and "costly grace" has put a lot of food out there to chew on and I'm loving it. The permanent knot tied between grace and the call to live according to Christ is huge. That and I think I'm so happy to be reading a theologian who is NOT Paul Tillich. No offense meant there, just nice to understand what I'm reading.

So, for those from PTS who have been praying for me, I have appreciated knowing you are out there.
Also for those of you at PTS, I have not shaved my head since May 13th. I actually bought shampoo for the first time in about two years. It's Herbal Essence stuff, and it smells great. Little things.

I'm going to try to get around to taking some pictures this weekend, and possibly this afternoon. My dad has been wanting to get an idea of what surrounds me here, so keep an eye out for some posts with some of those in there.

And, by the way, I've been enjoying the awesome power of the Party Mix option in iTunes. I love it because songs pop up that I would never think I wanted to listen to at the moment, but they pop up on their own and lyrics can just HIT like that. I'm pretty sure that ol' Ben has a woman in mind when he writes this, but for some reason I'm identifying more with new places and new people in general. Sometimes I don't think past the beginnings of things....

Ben Lee - Begin (off of Awake Is the New Sleep)

I'm walking down broadway
Each foot step is a new love letter
I'm trying to make eye contact
With each and every stranger that I pass
Thinking about the city
It's living proof people need to be together
I'm thinking about how I just want to open up
And give and give and give
And it's ok for you to care
Cause I can feel you in the air
And while you wonder "how's this gonna end?"
I only want it to begin

I'm thinking about desire
I've had to learn how to sin successfully
I'm thinking about bliss
And bliss is all dressed up
And there's no one to dance with
Remembering her smile and the nuclear bomb
And the reasons I loved her
Walking through Central Park
I'm in a foriegn country and I'm waiting for a sign
That it's ok for you to care
Cause I'm not going anywhere
And while you wonder if you should let me in
I only want it to begin

I'm still singing
Twisting humilities, breaking arrangements
Thinking about my heart
I guess you've heard, sometimes it's heavy
But I just keep moving
When I hit a wall, I look up at the sky
I'm thinking about my makeup
In spite of all this I know she won't give up on me
And its ok for you to care
Cause I can taste you everywhere
While it's true
All straight things must bend
I only want it to begin